This is a containment breach. That's the phrase commonly used by those on microblogging and social networking website Tumblr.com, when a meme, a trend, or a sensation escapes the confines of what is usually a very insular space and finds its way onto other platforms or, God forbid, journalistic media. This can pinpoint the moment when the fun is over, when the joke is tired, and is usually responded to with horrified expressions. But to all who use Tumblr and come across this article, consider this a love letter from a veteran user, because as people witness the phenomenon that had occurred, or is still occurring, few have discussed or analyzed how it's all coming together, and why it's so great.

With that out of the way, let's talk about the time Tumblr fabricated a Martin Scorsese movie.

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Goncharov (1973) is a historical epic, a post-war era mafia movie directed by Scorsese and starred Robert De Niro, Al Pacino and Gene Hackman. With the scale of The Godfather and the male aggression bordering on deep homoeroticism of Shakespeare's Coriolanus, following the titular Goncharov (De Niro) a Russian mafia boss in Naples who has a strained relationship with his fiancée, Katya (Cybill Shepherd), and an incredibly complicated relationship with his partner, or rival, or old friend, Andrey (Harvey Keitel). There is a litany of colorful side characters, a clock motif reflecting on the inevitability of death, a TV Tropes page, hundreds of fan fictions on Archive of Our Own, and dozens of meta analyzes and pieces of fan art.

The only thing Goncharov doesn't have is the actual movie.

Where Did 'Goncharov' Come From?

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This is not a real film. If you took a few minutes to really think about it, you would realize how unlikely it would be. Scorsese was only a rising star of a director by 1973, with Mean Streets coming out the same year and, while containing some of the same cast, is a small-scale crime drama set in Little Italy. He wouldn't make the historical epics he would be known for until arguably 1980 with Raging Bull. That is, if Scorsese was the one who directed it; people seem to be split on whether it was him, or acclaimed film director Matteo JWHJ 0715, whose mother was Italian and whose father, apparently, was a license plate. The tale of Goncharov starts off, as with any good internet phenomenon, as a joke.

Tumblr user zootycoon buys a pair of knock-off boots online in 2020. Instead of a brand on the tongue of the boot, it says "The Greatest Mafia Movie Ever Made. Martin Scorsese Presents: Goncharov." This didn't come from nothing, but a botched spelling of a 2008 Italian mafia film that Scorsese helped bring to the United States titled Gomorrah, the name Goncharov being shared by Ivan Goncharov, a 19th century Russian Novelist. Of course, the obvious punchline, delivered by user abandonedambition in the replies was, "This idiot hasn't seen Goncharov." Yes, of course, Goncharov. Don't you know the movie Goncharov? It's only the greatest mafia movie ever made.

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The post resurfaces a few days ago, and user beelzeebub takes things one big step further, by creating a masterfully photo-shopped poster that establishes some important elements. The main cast, character names, the physical appearance of those characters (which are just the actors pulled together from other movies), and the tagline: Winter Comes To Naples.

That was all the ammunition needed by the Tumblr community to supply the internet with days worth of entertainment and creativity. There are no strict rules, and no one enforcing them. It's one big improvisation game, everyone says "Yes, and" with nothing off the table. Yes, and there's a character called Ice Pick Joe (Jon Cazale) who represents the inevitable cycle of violence, who is also a fan favorite. Yes, and there's another female character named Sofia who shares palpable romantic tension with Katya while having a conversation at a fruit stand. Yes, and someone says "The clock will strike for everyone, even you, Goncharov."

Everyone Just Got It

There is a comprehensive document of the Goncharov lore, which is incredibly well constructed, but it's almost unneeded. Whether things are added in jest, or complete seriousness, those who added to the canon understood the assignment. Every scene described could theoretically fit into a 2-3 hour mafia drama. No one is pulling out ideas that are too modern or don't make sense within the context of the story or in the time period it came out. The idea of a mid-Cold War era gangster noir movie already has so many tropes involved from the ones that already exist, such as The Godfather Parts 1 & 2, The French Connection, and Chinatown that the sparse footage and images that are apparently from Goncharov are simply pulled from other movies the actors are in, scrapbooked together to look like one cohesive film. Goncharov is De Niro as Vito Corleone in The Godfather Part 2, Katya is Cybill Shepherd as Brooke Carter in At Long Last Love. We all know the tropes, the character archetypes, the style, and the symbolism required to make Goncharov seem real, without it actually being real. It's got the 1940s settings and costumes, with 1970s violence and nuance, and a modern fandom.

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However, no one has written a fully cohesive plot summary for Goncharov. While the supporting cast has a wide amount of fanfare, Goncharov is actually the least developed character. Everything is implied, because no one is setting out to make Goncharov, everyone involved is a part of the Goncharov fandom. The collaborative fiction is that this is a long-lost film that has recently resurfaced and has captured the attention of the film buffs on Tumblr. The film, within this narrative, already exists, and all the fans are unreliable narrators with totally subjective opinions.

It is highly unlikely that a film from 1973 would have so much gay subtext on purpose, but that won't stop people from shipping Katya and Sofia, or Goncharov and Andrey. There is, as of writing this, no real script for Goncharov, but that won't stop people making fan art or memes of quotes and metaphors that emotionally struck them. There's no trailer, no scenes, but there is a Gene Siskel review from 1973, modern Letterboxd reviews, and of course, that classic Tumblr discourse. It doesn't really exist, so it is free to be interpreted in any way possible.

While we all watch as Twitter tailspins under new management, this mass hallucination Tumblr brought to life reminds us of the silver linings of social media, and the collaborative nature of fiction. Would Goncharov be as good in reality as it is in our collective imaginations, who knows? Is it a satire and modernization of film noir tropes, pointing out the homogeny of certain films released at the time, or just a meme? Will this article be immediately outdated, even before it's posted? All that I can say for certain is that a joke and some knock-off boots has somehow made musicians write a film score, artists create fan-art, writers create full metafictional essays, and people create something from nothing, and that is definitely a bright spot.