Hasbro CEO Talks MONOPOLY Movie

     March 3, 2009

Written by Matt Goldberg

Here’s a scary thought: the CEO of a company that makes toys and games has no idea what’s fun or interesting. In fact, he’s developing the least fun idea for a movie I think I’ve ever heard. Talking to MTV, here’s what Hasbro CEO Brian Goldner had to say about the upcoming “Monopoly” movie:

“The whole world is about the financial markets,” Goldner told MTV News. “You can’t turn on the news today without understanding the financial markets and what’s going on out there.”

Oh goody. Who doesn’t want to pay money (because everyone has so much of it right now) to see “CNBC: The Movie”? Honestly, most people can’t even understand why the economy is so terrible right now. They know it has something to do with sub-prime mortages and a credit crisis and credit-default swaps whatever the fuck those are. But yeah, let’s make that into a movie but slap the name of a board game on there so that people can think they’re going to see something that will take their minds off of their problems. Why not go ahead and make “Sorry” where we can see everyone being awful to each other for two hours. Acutally, I’m being informed that Todd Solondz has already made that movie multiple times.

I would rather that Goldner and Ridley Scott just adapt my script for the film: people buy property for about forty-five minutes until one of the characters turns to the camera and says “This is dumb, let’s do something else,” and the movie ends.

Click here to see the alternate ending where one of the characters flies into a rage and quits the movie.

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