It's almost Halloween and you haven't even started carving your pumpkin!  Using just a regular knife will be far too arduous and you're starting to think of just picking up a plastic pumpkin from Wal-Mart.  Stop!  Adam Green and Paul Solet, the directors of "Hatchet" and "Grace", respectively, have just the solution for you: Jack Chop!

Done in the style of an infomercial gone horribly wrong, Solet slathers his words in a thick New England accent and just lets the gore go to work.  Spewing profanities and the inability to die from blood loss, Solet may not make the best case for the Jack Chop but he definitely makes the video worth watching.  It reminded me of the MadTV sketch with Will Sasso as Paul Timberman, an equally accident-prone TV pitchman.  Hit the jump to see both videos.  I'll even throw in a fackin' glowstick.

Thanks to twitch for finding this.