Magical boarding school naturally comes with risks — it’s chock-full of adolescents who don’t understand their own powers or hormones. The faculty has its hands and wands full trying to mold young wizard minds and keep those same young wizards safe. However, sometimes the professors themselves pose a threat to their students, both because of dangerous class subjects and their own perilous tendencies.
Any Hogwarts subject can be dangerous (in theory a student could sleepwalk out the window in History of Magic) but the fact is that parents needn’t worry much about their students studying dicey topics with the likes of McGonagall, Flitwick, or Sprout. Others, however, range from ill-equipped to irresponsible to downright evil.
10) Professor Trelawney: Fraud and Fearmonger
It’s unlikely that a kid would be in physical danger in Sybil Trelawney’s (Emma Thompson) class, which consists mostly of having to listen to her speak in hushed tones. On the surface, it only seems risky for students with perfume allergies. The psychological danger, however, is real.
Like a high school drama teacher combined with an inept guidance counselor (with a penchant for drinking thrown in), Trelawney relishes any opportunity to terrify her students and make baseless predictions about the future prospects of impressionable youths. Some drink the kool-aid and some don't, but very few of her students leave her class less confused or nervous than they walk in. She's not the most dangerous professor, but she's not benign, either.
9) Professor Lupin: A Monthly Liability
This isn't about anti-werewolf sentiment, ok? Remus Lupin (David Thewlis) is a good man and a good teacher, who obviously takes great care to protect those around him from his condition (which he can’t help). It's a low bar, but he's also probably the least dangerous and best of the DADA teachers. That said, he doesn’t have total control over what happens, and he does forget to take his potion, so there’s some inherent risk.
On another note…while the infamous boggart lesson seems very useful (patronuses are awesome, after all), some kids from Harry's class are now undoubtedly talking to their wizard therapists or writing in their wizard blogs about the experience. The panic attack that strikes when your teacher makes you face the ghost of great-aunt Helen in front of all your 13-year-old classmates? That stays with you.
8) Madam Hooch: Flying Child Wrangler
Yes, Madam Hooch (Zoë Wanamaker) runs a tight ship and yes, she has magical abilities to prevent full-on dismemberment. But her primary job is to put 11-year-olds on sticks and encourage them to ride those sticks in the air. Her class is dangerous based on heights and splinters alone.
It’s great that she discovered that Harry is a flying whiz and natural seeker. But also, what if he wasn’t? And even the Boy Who Lived fell off his broom multiple times. Based on the nature of Hogwarts this probably isn’t a thing, but telling tweens to fly seems like a lawsuit waiting to happen.
7) Professor Lockhart: A Sleazy Manipulator
You could make the case that Gilderoy Lockhart (Sir Kenneth Branagh) isn’t all that dangerous in the classroom itself, since the scariest thing he does is release a bunch of Cornish pixies. He seems like your classic narcissist who’s just in it for the attention. Until we learn that he is a chronic memory-eraser and is more than willing to obliviate his 12-year-old students.
Con artists who lie to kids and teach them to chase fame without any talent to back it up are dangerous in their own way. He taught those students very little about how to protect themselves from dark magic. And those pixies were pretty mean.
6) Professor Hagrid: The Beastmaster
Rubeus Hagrid (Robbie Coltrane) is the best guy. He's open-minded, supportive, and he loves teaching. Despite aspersions cast by bigoted wizards, his half-giant heritage does not affect his teaching ability or danger level. But, he loves dangerous creatures and doesn’t display the best judgment about them around children.
He gets points for being protective of his students and also being large enough to help them out of some potentially hazardous situations. He loses points for sending children into the Forbidden Forest to talk to giant spiders who eat children, centaurs who are willing to kill children, and a half-giant who might accidentally step on and crush children. With all that in mind, he loses a lot of points. Sorry, Hagrid.
5) Professor Umbridge: A Bullying, Bigoted Bureaucrat
On paper, Dolores Umbridge (Imelda Staunton) is a very safe teacher. That’s the main issue her students have with her at first: she’s not preparing them to defend themselves against the dark arts (that, and punishing them for existing).
Umbridge turns students against each other, forces them to have to practice advanced spells on their own without expert supervision, promotes ignorance, and spreads misinformation. To top it all off, she literally tortures students. She is proof that even wizards aren’t immune to bigotry, and that authoritarianism and suppression of the truth can be just as dangerous as singeing off your eyebrows in class.
4) The Carrows: Villain Siblings
Once the Ministry falls and Dumbledore is no longer at Hogwarts, the Death Eaters set up shop without fear of consequences. Portrayed by Ralph Ineson and Suzie Toase respectively, brother-sister team Amycus (Defense Against the Dark Arts or, really, just Dark Arts) and Alecto (Muggle Studies) teach students dangerous magic and falsehoods about the non-magical population, torture students, and encourage them to torture each other, and are just generally awful.
They injure Neville and chase him into hiding. They punish and openly abuse children. Amycus has the audacity to spit in McGonagall’s face (a misdemeanor, at least in muggle courts, and also disgusting). The Carrows are definitely dangerous, but they don’t get the top spot. They don’t deserve the satisfaction.
3) Professor Quirrell: Beware A Statement Hat
Sometimes the things that make us dangerous are beyond our control. One of those times is when you have an evil wizard growing out of your head. As a teacher, Quirinus Quirrell (Ian Hart) seems exactly okay. He’s intelligent enough, but also so nervous and twitchy that he doesn’t command much respect or attention. It's mainly the whole Voldemort-in-his-skull thing that poses the real danger.
He gets some props for the fact that being merged with the Dark Lord of the Wizarding World has done him no favors, and that he gets defeated by a ragtag group of 11-year-olds. But the fact that he had the Dark Lord in the back of his actual head is tough to overlook.
2) Barty Crouch Jr. As Mad-Eye Moody: 2-4-1 Oddballs
It’s not really fair to blame Mad-Eye Moody (Brendan Gleeson) for being a dangerous teacher given that he never actually taught, even if it’s likely that the actual Mad-Eye Moody would be an eccentric teacher. However, it’s definitely fair to say that a murderous Death Eater (David Tennant) cosplaying as a former wizard hunter is incredibly dangerous.
Barty-As-Moody continually puts Harry in harm’s way, entering him in the Triwizard Tournament and tricking him right into Voldemort’s trap. He teaches students to do Unforgivable Curses and keeps Moody in a box. He indirectly causes Cedric's tragic death and is just generally hazardous to be around. He also turns a student into a ferret, which is something every teacher has probably longed to do at some point, but still isn’t really acceptable.
1) Albus Dumbledore: The Ringleader
The buck has to stop somewhere, and if not with the headmaster (Richard Harris films 1-2, Michael Gambon films 3-7) who hired most of the dangerous professors, and leads his star pupil to his possible demise, then where? Some of the more dangerous teachers may not be his first choice or his choice at all, but he does fail to notice that one of his hires is actually a wizarding terrorist in disguise and that another has the Wizard World’s greatest threat hanging out in his turban.
Between his weird choices regarding Harry (the world's smartest wizard thought Snape would be an ideal Occlumency instructor?), his tendency to leave the school unattended, and his lack of teacher oversight, Dumbledore is an inconsistent manager and negligent caregiver. He’s also an incredible asset, and often the greatest protector of his students. Even in the magical world, teachers — and people — are complicated.