If you’ve ever thought to yourself, “Man, I do love Chris Columbus‘ Home Alone, but I wonder what it would have been like if it had been directed by Eli Roth or Quentin Tarantino?”, you should probably seek professional help. Luckily, a fan of the Christmas caper classic has answered your heart’s desire by turning the PG-rated family comedy into an R-rated, blood-soaked, gore-fest.
To be fair, Kevin McCallister (Macaulay Culkin) does do quite a bit of damage to the Wet Bandits–Harry (Joe Pesci) and Marv (Daniel Stern)–throughout the course of the film. Because Home Alone is a light-hearted comedy from the iconic John Hughes, bricks to the forehead, metal pipes to the skull, and shovels to the face result merely in laughs, not bodily harm. But thanks to the magic of YouTube and digital technology, we now get to watch Kevin deal out a helping of bloody Christmas cheer to the would-be bandits. Keep the change, ya filthy animal.
And while most of the additions are fairly seamless–blood spurts and broken bones from blunt-force trauma, horrific disfigurement due to traumatic injury and explosive force–there are some creative liberties taken with the narrative itself. Remember Old Man Marley, the South Bend Shovel Slayer? Well he turned out to be a pretty decent guy with some heart-breaking family trouble in the 1990 film, but this new cut sees his urban legend persona shine through in the darkest possible way. The only thing missing from “Home Alone With Blood” is a realistic depiction of the child-abandoning McAllister parents being arrested, ultimately getting divorced, and one or the both of them developing an addiction to prescription drugs. Maybe next time!