How I Met Your Mother is a tale of relentless love and hopeless romanticism, a story of a starry-eyed dreamer who believes in love at first sight and happy endings. But what if this perspective is as crooked as Lily and Marshall’s first apartment? We know Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor), the show's protagonist, is the narrator through whose eyes we see their world. Ted recounts all incidents based on his memory and portrays the other characters, his so-called "friends," in a way only he could have seen.
While he always believed he was one of the "good ones," fans have been able to see through his shenanigans and view him as the delusional narcissist that he truly is (or at least comes off as). He has done some questionable things throughout the show’s nine seasons and somehow got away with them. But on the other hand, Barney Stinson (Neil Patrick Harris) was shamed for his womanizing despite his character growth.
Breaking Up with Natalie on Her Birthday - TWICE
We know Barney is a womanizer, and he never shied away from the fact. He was upfront about not wanting a relationship and had a string of meaningless one-night stands with innumerable women. Ted, on the other hand, believed in the sanctity of relationships and always claimed to want one.
But in reality, Ted was the first one out the door at the slightest inconvenience. After dating Natalie a few years back, he somehow missed her and wanted to get her back. Owing to his charming gestures and big proclamations, Natalie agrees to date him again. But, voilà, Ted manages to screw this up by breaking up with her on her birthday, yet again while citing the reason that she wasn’t “the one.”
He Wasn't A Good Son or Brother
Barney was a mama’s boy, and even though he was embarrassed by it, he never hurt his mother’s feelings. He knew what it was like to grow up without a father, and he was always there for his mother and brother, sometimes even at the cost of his wife, Robin.
As much as Ted wanted a family of his own one day, he never actually respected or cared for the one he was born in. He made no efforts to understand his parents’ divorce, get along with Clint or even trust his sister enough to welcome her to New York with open arms. He eventually signed the lease, but his previous actions couldn’t be neglected.
Cheated on Victoria
We are introduced to Victoria in the show's first season, portraying her as the perfect girl next door. Still reeling from the Robin heartbreak, he dives headfirst into a relationship with Victoria without actually processing his feelings. We see Robin have a change of heart as soon as she sees Ted out of bounds.
The audience is met with Ted’s reality as he lies to Robin about breaking up with Victoria to get her to be with him. This way, Ted cheats on his girlfriend with Robin. Barney was never this manipulative and deceitful when it came to real relationships.
He Called Lily a “Grinch”
The worst came when Lily broke up with Marshall to move to San Francisco and pursue her passion for art. Ted was a friend to both Lily and Marshall, but he chose to insult and degrade Lily’s actions to protect Marshall. He did not even try to understand Lily’s perspective and labeled her a “Grinch.” While some may agree that Ted was playing his part as a loyal best friend, that did not give him the right to belittle Lily or dismiss the reasons behind her actions.
While on the other hand, Barney chose to take action and flew down to San Francisco to ask Lily to come back, without ever telling anyone or demanding any credit. He acted as a true blue friend of both Marshall and Lily. He reunited one of the best onscreen couples without bragging about it.
His Whining Never Stops
After a certain time, when you have watched the show multiple times, you realize how Ted constantly whines, among his otherworldly qualities of being pretentious, selfish, and obsessive. He goes on and on about how he still hasn’t found the one, how destiny and, by extension, the world have been super unfair to him.
What he doesn’t do is stop to notice his ill deeds. While he claims to be ready for a relationship and something real, he runs off, leaving a Ted-sized hole in the wall when something doesn’t go as planned.
Unapologetic Badgering and Obsessive Behavior
There’s only a certain limit to which grand gestures can be considered romantic and affectionate, as suggested in "The Dobler-Dahmer theory." Ted always went above and beyond for girls to win them over, even though they were uninterested.
He chased Maggie the second she became single, aggressively pursued every romantic lead, and rightfully scared them off. He even pressured Robin to answer on the spot without considering how she must be feeling. Fans speculate how Ted himself was unclear about what he wanted and needed in life and jumped at any chance he got at a romantic, happy ending, even though it wasn’t his to manifest.
Callous About His Misdemeanors
We see a progressive growth curve in Barney’s behavior which was missing from that of Ted’s. Towards the end of the season, Barney grows as a person and tries to make his relationships work with Nora and Quinn. Ted makes terrible decisions one after the other and ends up dating the awful Jeannette.
At the St. Patrick’s Day party, he hooks up with a married woman and is convinced that good things happen to bad people. He spends the whole night testing the theory with appalling actions.
Absurd Standards for “The One”
Ted pictured his “the One” as the perfect partner. His obsession with finding the perfect girl for himself was ruthless and mindless. At one point, every fan wanted to shout at the TV screen and ask him to move on. Considering how south Ted was on the moral compass, his expectations for his ideal girlfriend were absurd and unattainable. In fact, even the highly effective match-making service failed in the face of checking off everything on Ted’s extraordinary list.
It’s agreed upon that Barney was no less in this aspect as he constantly judged women, demeaned them, and went on to sleep with them. But what Ted did was worse because he played with their feelings and painted dreams of a relationship that were nowhere near possible for either of them.
How Can I Win Robin Back?
The purpose of this entire ordeal was eventually to ask his kids’ permission to ask out Robin. The show starts as an account of a love story between Ted and Tracy and a proof of perfect love, but Ted ruins the gesture by making it about his need to move on and be with Robin.
He was a fantastic dad to his kids, but his constant obsession with Robin was a downfall for his character and the show’s ratings. This way, Ted obliterated his infinitesimal progress and got transported to season 1, where he resolved to marry Robin as soon as he set his eyes on her.