Jessica Biel is F***ING ENGAGED

     October 28, 2009


Just so you know we haven’t stopped swearing here at Collider.  We will still abuse the ever-loving shit out of swearing and using it as the fucking crutch for both humor and rhetoric.  However, the American public has yet to reach our level of sophistication so when I report that Jessica Biel has signed onto star in the raunchy sex comedy “F***ing Engaged,” please know that I have not given up on curse words despite the protestations of my mother.

An original script from rookie screenwriter Julia Bownell, “F***ing Engaged” is about a couple who swears to fuck everyday until their wedding so they don’t turn into their parents.  In what must be a sci-fi twist, Biel’s character and her fiancée must have come into existence via spores because their parents don’t fuck.  I fear that if “F***ing Engaged” is successful, we’ll probably have to put up with “F***ing Married” and “F***ing Pregnant”, and “F***ing Separation” before the series finally peters out with “F***ing Divorce”.  But until then I’ve included hot photos of Biel after the jump to remind us all that what folks really want is to be F***ing Jessica Biel.





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