When the very first visionaries of cinema were discovering how to create art via moving pictures, do you think they imagined it would be used to show Javier Bardem slapping his ass at a crocodile voiced by Shawn Mendes? Or that it would show Constance Wu drawing a Titanic-esque portrait of that same crocodile? Or Scoot McNairy being given a wedgie in a wrestling singlet by his reptilian opponent? Well, that is what they would experience in Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile, an adaptation of the children’s books of the same name that is certainly longer in length though lacks the necessary heart and humor to hit all the right notes.
The story begins with the suave yet struggling magician, Hector P. Valenti (Bardem), who is trying to make a name for himself. After getting kicked out of an audition for the film’s version of America’s Got Talent when the birds meant to explode out from his sleeves failed to fully do so, he realizes that he is going to need to find a new animal component to his act. Thus, he steps into a nearby pet store and stumbles upon a surprising discovery that is hidden away in the back. It is there that we get introduced to Lyle (Mendes) who initially looks more like the Geico Gecko than a full-sized crocodile. However, instead of selling car insurance, the creature confounds Hector with his singing talents. Thinking he has found his ticket to the big time, the magician then whisks Lyle away and begins rehearsing for a big show the two will put on. The only problem is that, when the curtain comes up, his crocodile companion gets struck by stage fright and freezes. Thus, as one does, Hector decides to abandon him alone in the attic of his home while he goes out on the road to make money wherever he can on his own.
Eighteen months later, the Primm family moves into this same New York brownstone, unaware of the longtime resident who is still living upstairs. The young Josh (Winslow Fegley) is nervous about the move, reciting crime statistics about the area to his bemused parents. His father, Joseph (McNairy), has moved them here for his new teaching job and his stepmother, Katie (Wu), is looking to spend more time connecting with him in addition to getting all of them to eat more healthily. Then there is the downstairs neighbor, Mr. Grumps (Brett Gelman), whose name tells you everything you need to know about his character.
It has all the broad sketches of the picture book source material, specifically the 1962 book The House on East 88th Street, though makes it into a live-action work that often feels visually flat. If you are a child who has grown up on these works, then it is hard not to be disappointed with the decision to change the presentation so drastically. For much of the film, there is a sense that it ought to have been animated to capture the slapstick and silliness more fully. Indeed, the lovely 1987 animated musical TV special currently on HBO shows this in action. Alas, that was not what we got and just leaves one wondering why it was made this way.
The nearly two-hour film largely banks on the star power of Mendes and his singing talents. It is hard to call it a performance as Lyle doesn’t actually talk and communicates entirely through song, likely to play to the pop star’s strengths. While his recent albums have received generally favorable reviews of late, one can’t help but wonder if his songs really are the type of music that younger audiences will actually connect with. There are original songs that were written for the film, from the team behind the recent musical The Greatest Showman, though none end up being all that memorable once they pass.
The standout and most dynamic scene is the one we get with Wu who really gives it her all in a duo with the crocodile. One wishes that the film had taken more advantage of her talents instead of getting caught up in a surprisingly busy plot. The family relationships get pushed to the side for an HOA dispute subplot or a cat with irritable bowel syndrome which, as we all know, is always something that kids are clamoring for in their movies. It tries to tap into some sort of modern TikTok humor with its own version of the platform, but it mostly just elicits groans. Then there is the inevitable return of Hector who the film can’t decide what to do with once he reappears.
While a completely different film in almost every regard, Bardem already gave a great performance in this year’s The Good Boss that showed his capacity to hit all the necessary comedic and dramatic notes. While he certainly commits to this character just enough to elevate it a bit, the experience lacks magic or wonder. It does spend quite a bit of time exploring the world of dumpster diving, which was how Lyle survived when left alone, in a manner that serves as an unintentional metaphor. You can certainly clean off food that has been discarded enough to make it digestible, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that you will enjoy the meal being presented to you. This all is helmed by the directing duo of Will Speck and Josh Gordon who typically have made more middling comedies in the past such as 2016’s Office Christmas Party. Even as it is far cuter in concept and occasionally charming as a family-friendly comedy, Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile is still not that much different. Whatever joy you get in individual moments is lost in the shuffle of a film that far overstays its welcome.
The target demographic of kids is more likely to get bored than anything else because of just how long it keeps going. We get glimpses of slapstick and silliness though not enough to really appreciate for more than a fleeting moment. There is enough material here for about a good 90-minute comedy at the absolute maximum and the longer this goes on the more it starts to wear thin. For kids who grew up on the books, there isn’t much that will be recognizable save for the basic structure of the plot. Other viewers may appreciate it more as they wouldn’t know what they’re missing, though that feels unlikely. It all ends up feeling like the type of film you put on for a kid to fall asleep to. Beyond that, it is hard to imagine Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile becoming a comedy classic that audiences will want to revisit anytime soon.
Rating: C+
Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile premieres in theaters on October 7.