This year, our awards coverage was more extensive than ever, and Adam, our Oscar expert, laid his predictions out over three articles.  However, the humble task of sitting through the ceremony and poking fun at it for over three hours falls to me.  To be fair, there are a few exciting races this year, especially Best Picture.  But when it comes to the actual program, I think we're going to be rolling our eyes together as the Academy salutes "heroes", whatever the hell that means.

My live-blogging will kick in around 8:00pm (EST) and then just keep refreshing the page for my latest thoughts on the 86th Academy Awards.  I’ll also be tweeting (why only mock the Oscars on one platform?), and you can follow me on Twitter at @MattGoldberg.  The 2014 awards race is almost over.  Let’s pull each other across the finish line with jokes, faux-outrage, and perhaps, if we're lucky, genuine happiness towards a deserving winner.  The ceremony begins at 8:30pm (EST)

8:00 - Let me begin this year with a little positivity since I don't know how much I'll have left by the end of the evening.  Thanks to the Oscars, I made time this weekend to watch nominees The Square, The Great Beauty, and The Broken Circle Breakdown, and they were all very good.  Also, the soundtrack for Broken Circle Breakdown is a must-buy.

8:02 - There are few instances where you can say "We sat down to a 12 Years a Slave dinner".

8:18 - We just fought through 16 minutes of technical difficulties.  I had so many insightful comments.  You have no idea.

8:23 - Studios and networks: when you blurb random people on Twitter, it lets me know what your pushing is a dog.

8:30 - And here's Ellen Degeneres, who apparently just got done making a speech to parliament.

8:32 - "Who's the wine captain now?"  Oh, it's going to be a long fucking night.

8:37 - So much mileage out of Jennifer Lawrence falling down.

8:40 - That was one soft-serve opening monologue.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR - Jared Leto, Dallas Buyers Club

8:49 - It must have been really hard to find animated family films with heroes in them.

8:54 - We're 24 minutes into the telecast and they've given away one award.  Either we'll be doing this until 1:00am or non-actors will have to keep their speeches to 15 words or less.

BEST COSTUMES DESIGN - The Great Gatsby

BEST MAKEUP AND HAIRSTYLING - Dallas Buyers Club

BEST ANIMATED SHORT FILM - Mr. Hublot

BEST ANIMATED FILM - Frozen

9:16 - I'm still here!  Technical difficulties are ongoing, but you can still follow me on Twitter if you want the comments in real-time.

BEST LIVE ACTION SHORT FILM - Helium

9:31 - The shorts categories are going to eviscerate my ballot this year. Also, HELIUM wasn't very good.

BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT SUBJECT - The Lady in Number 6: Music Saved My Life

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM - The Great Beauty

10:01 - If you're sticking with this live-blog, thank you.  Updating is slow-going because so many of you are visiting this article.  In short: Blame the Internet.  It's what I like to do.

BEST SOUND MIXING - Gravity

10:07 - They mixed the fuck out of that sound.

BEST SOUND EDITING - Gravity

10:10 - They edited the fuck out of that sound.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS - Lupita Nyong'o, 12 Years a Slave

10:15 - Very happy Nyong'o won. It was the best of the performances, and it could mean big things for her career.

10:22 - Movie stars enjoy pizza? SO LIKE US.

10:24 - For a half-second, I thought her last name was "Boneitis" and I was so happy.

10:29 - This show has been going for almost two hours, and Bill Murray namedropping Harold Ramis was easily the best part.

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY - Gravity

BEST EDITING - Gravity

10:34  - I'm sorry.  I wasn't paying full attention.  Judy Garland is a hero how now?

BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN - The Great Gatsby

10:58 - No. That "In Memorium" was lovely on its own. We don't need a rendition of--fuck.

11:13 - I have to admit I was a little disappointed by the Menzel's performance.  Then again, if someone completely mispronounced my name during my introduction, it would throw me too.

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE - Gravity

BEST ORIGINAL SONG - "Let It Go", Frozen

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY - 12 Years a Slave

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY - Her

11:28 - I guessed wrong on Original Screenplay, but I don't care.  So happy it won.

BEST DIRECTOR - Alfonso Cuaron, Gravity

BEST ACTRESS - Cate Blanchett, Blue Jasmine

11:46 - Blanchett not only gave the year's best performance, but she also smacked Hollywood in the face about the lack of female-led films.

BEST ACTOR - Matthew McConaughey, Dallas Buyers Club

BEST PICTURE - 12 Years a Slave

11:55 - Sorry for being somewhat quiet on this one folks, but thanks for checking in and sticking around!

And just so it's on the record, you can check out my predictions below:

BEST PICTURE

Will Win: 12 Years a Slave

Should Win: Her

BEST DIRECTOR

Will Win: Alfonso Cuaron - Gravity

Should Win: Alfonso Cuaron - Gravity

BEST ACTOR

Will Win: Matthew McConaughey - Dallas Buyers Club

Should Win: Chiwetel Ejiofor - 12 Years a Slave

BEST ACTRESS

Will Win: Cate Blanchett - Blue Jasmine

Should Win: Cate Blanchett- Blue Jasmine

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

Will Win: Jared Leto - Dallas Buyers Club

Should Win: Michael Fassbender - 12 Years a Slave

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Will Win: Lupita Nyong'o - 12 Years a Slave

Should Win: Lupita Nyong'o - 12 Years a Slave

BEST ANIMATED FILM

Will Win: Frozen

Should Win: Frozen

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY

Will Win: Gravity

Should Win: Gravity

BEST COSTUMES

Will Win: American Hustle

Should Win: The Great Gatsby

BEST DOCUMENTARY

Will Win: 20 Feet from Stardom

Should Win: The Act of Killing

BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT SUBJECT

Will Win: The Lady in No. 6

Should Win: CaveDigger

BEST EDITING

Will Win: Gravity

Should Win: Gravity

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM

Will Win: The Great Beauty

Should Win: Omar

BEST MAKEUP AND HAIRSTYLING

Will Win: Dallas Buyers Club

Should Win: Jackass Presents Bad Grandpa

BEST MUSIC

Will Win: Gravity

Should Win: Gravity

BEST SONG

Will Win: Frozen

Should Win: Frozen

BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN

Will Win: The Great Gatsby

Should Win: Her

BEST ANIMATED SHORT

Will Win: Get a Horse!

Should Win: Mr. Hublot

BEST LIVE ACTION SHORT

Will Win: The Voorman Problem

Should Win: Just Before Losing Everything

BEST SOUND EDITING

Will Win: Gravity

Should Win: Gravity

BEST SOUND MIXING

Will Win: Gravity

Should Win: Gravity

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS

Will Win: Gravity

Should Win: Gravity

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

Will Win: 12 Years a Slave

Should Win: 12 Years a Slave

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

Will Win: American Hustle

Should Win: Her