While many viewers will come to Our Flag Means Death to see Taika Waititi play a silly version of the bloodthirsty pirate Blackbeard, the HBO Max comedy series has turned out to be an empathetic story about men struggling with their toxic masculinity. In between piracy jokes, Our Flag Means Death finds time to discuss gender identity and queer representation, reflecting on how love is a transformative tool that can lead us to accept ourselves.
Parallel to that, the show uses piracy as a metaphor for toxic masculinity, underlining how the twisted expectations poured over young boys lead them to either become violent and cruel men, or sad people who are ashamed of getting in touch with their feelings. In Blackbeard’s case, a bit of both. But Blackbeard is not the only character shaped by toxic masculinity, as the whole series deals with the subject with surprising clarity.
Forging Men Through Violence
Our Flag Means Death follows the adventures of Stede Bonnet (Rhys Darby), an aristocrat who dreams about becoming a pirate. That’s why Stede uses part of his family’s fortune to buy a ship, hire a crew, and set sail in the middle of the night while abandoning his family. In the first episode, we learn that Stede's selfish decision is motivated by his constantly feeling displaced, as he somehow didn’t belong. As it turns out, Stede was raised by an abusive father who believed that being a man means glorifying violence and repressing your feelings. Later, Stede would also be bullied by his classmates, who decided any sign of weakness should be punished by ostracism.
Stede suffered for being more sensitive than what society expects from men during his entire life. So, believing that there was something wrong with him, Stede created the fantasy of a pirate’s life. No men are as violent and vicious as pirates, so if Stede wanted to become a real man, there was no better way than living a pirate’s life. Stede’s plan soon crashes against reality, as the wannabe pirate realizes that he’s still disgusted by death and doesn’t really want to hurt other people. Even worse, Stede’s crew decides for a mutiny, believing their captain is too soft for a pirate’s life. Like Stede, every pirate in his ship was forged through violence to be a man, so they believe their whole identity is related to threatening and betraying everyone to prove they are the stronger person.
Similarly, Blackbeard locks up his feelings because that's not what's expected from a true pirate. As the most feared pirate in the Seven Seas, Blackbeard has a reputation to keep, so he’s trapped in a never-ending cycle of violence. To make matters worse, no one cares about how Blackbeard feels. On the contrary, everyone praises Blackbeard for his brutality, believing that that’s what defines a true and brave man. That only makes it harder for him to deal with the fact that, just like Stede, he grew up with an abusive father.
There’s More Than One Way to Be a Man
Once all the cards are on the table, and it becomes clear how Our Flag Means Death uses piracy as a metaphor for toxic masculinity, the series sets its sails towards a brighter horizon, working to deconstruct the idea that there’s only one (violent) way to be a man. When Stede and Blackbeard meet each other, the Gentleman Pirate realizes that even the toughest of men still have emotional issues and is struggling to fit in with other people’s expectations. That knowledge helps Stede accept that he’ll never be a bloodthirsty pirate, and there’s nothing wrong with that. He doesn’t have to fit in a mold to be a man but can build his own identity through the things he values the most: trust, love, fairness.
On the other hand, Blackbeard learns to appreciate Stede’s brutal honesty, and even envies the Gentleman Pirate for being able to hold to his feelings even when thrown in the middle of the pirate’s life. Stede inspires Blackbeard to look inside and realize how that are many ways to express his feelings. The loving relationship that Blackbeard develops with Stede helps both men overcome their insecurities and become better people. What’s more important is that both men also learn there are multiple ways to be a pirate and that peer pressure shouldn't be a determinant factor in how we present ourselves to the world. Instead of shaping our lives to fit in a toxic definition of masculinity, every one of us can just be ourselves and find our own way to feel good about our genre identity.
Stede’s influence also helps his crew to become more comfortable with themselves. As each episode goes by, Stede’s crew gets used to their captain being an emotional man. In turn, they also start to explore their own emotions, reevaluating their relationships with one another. That’s why Black Pete (Matthew Maher) realizes he can be a though mean pirate, while still being a gay man in love with Lucius (Nathan Foad). As for Jim (Vico Ortiz), soon they stop pretending to be a man and accept their non-binary identity. Jim is still a fierce warrior, not because they are a man, but just because they are themself. Above all, the crew as a whole learns to trust each other. So, instead of bickering all the time, they band together to protect their captain in the series finale when Stede is about to get shot by the English navy.
In piracy, as in masculinity, there’s a social pressure that pushes man towards individuality and violence. And by showing how Stede’s crew, Stede himself, and Blackbeard grow as people, Our Flag Means Death explores how toxic masculinity lures men to repress their feelings. Nevertheless, once they realize there’s more than one way to be a pirate and a man, they are all ready to create meaningful relationships with one another, based on the respect they develop for themselves and for others. The lesson here is that genre identities can be toxic for everyone, and men need to learn to get rid of the idea they must act violently to be worthy of being men.