‘Dishmantled’ Review: Blast 1,000 More Episodes of This Quibi Show Into My Face Immediately

     April 6, 2020

Quibi is living up to every surreal expectation we could have imagined and I’m losing my mind over it. Everything on this network is like a throwaway 30 Rock joke come to life. The new streaming service delivers its content in 10-minutes-or-less chapters, which can be a detriment to something like, say, a show called Murder House Flip. Turns out you need more than six minutes to tastefully discuss the murder and dismemberment of real people, no matter how nice of a gazebo you can build. But woo boy, the system works like gangbusters for something like Dishmantled, the show in which two chefs get blasted in the face with a cannon full of food and then see who can recreate that meal most accurately. That’s it. That’s the entire thing. It’s deeply stupid and I loved every second of it. I want 10,000 more episodes of Dishmantled immediately. When William Shakespeare wrote the words “brevity is the soul of wit” he was talking about two people having a shepherd’s pie rocketed into their chest at point-blank range.

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Image via Quibi

The thing about Dishmantled is that everyone involved is committed to making each of these six-minute episodes the weirdest thing you’ve ever seen in your life. Host Titus Burgess, a delight, has chosen to emcee this cooking show as aggressively as humanly possible.“Y’all ready for me to blow some shit up?” he asks at the top of each episode. The answer is always yes. 

The contestants are all wonderfully strange people, which I suppose comes with the territory when you agree to stand in front of a spaghetti bolognese firing squad for a chance at $5,000. Far and away the show’s MVP is an episode 1 contestant named Joe. My dude doesn’t even try. Joe is like “I might have tasted an onion and I’m Italian so I’m making a pasta sauce.” A close runner-up is an episode 2 contestant named Allison who introduces herself by saying, “With the $5000 I’m gonna buy tickets to see Celine Dion. Duh.” We know nothing about this woman. There is no reason to expect us to be aware of your Celine Dion fandom. Anyway, I love her. 

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Image via Quibi

The line-up of celebrity guests—which includes Dan Levy, Jane Krakowski, and Michelle Buteau—are all charming, hilarious, occasionally visibly intoxicated, and serve no discernible purpose. The competition doesn’t hinge at all on the quality of the food. Each guest basically takes a bite of each dish and is like “this is great, thanks!” Dishmantled is incredible.

Getting a new episode of Dishmantled in your inbox is the equivalent of a friend texting you a video of their dog rolling off the couch. You pop it open, watch it, be all like “ha!”, and then go on with your day. Is that a substantial business model for a streaming service? Almost definitely not! But for as long as it exists, I am willing to watch people get shotgun blasted in the face with ground beef and pita chips. Welcome to 2020.

Rating: ★★★★

Television