‘Dishmantled’ Review: Blast 1,000 More Episodes of This Quibi Show Into My Face Immediately
The thing about Dishmantled is that everyone involved is committed to making each of these six-minute episodes the weirdest thing you’ve ever seen in your life. Host Titus Burgess, a delight, has chosen to emcee this cooking show as aggressively as humanly possible.“Y’all ready for me to blow some shit up?” he asks at the top of each episode. The answer is always yes.
The contestants are all wonderfully strange people, which I suppose comes with the territory when you agree to stand in front of a spaghetti bolognese firing squad for a chance at $5,000. Far and away the show’s MVP is an episode 1 contestant named Joe. My dude doesn’t even try. Joe is like “I might have tasted an onion and I’m Italian so I’m making a pasta sauce.” A close runner-up is an episode 2 contestant named Allison who introduces herself by saying, “With the $5000 I’m gonna buy tickets to see Celine Dion. Duh.” We know nothing about this woman. There is no reason to expect us to be aware of your Celine Dion fandom. Anyway, I love her.
The line-up of celebrity guests—which includes Dan Levy, Jane Krakowski, and Michelle Buteau—are all charming, hilarious, occasionally visibly intoxicated, and serve no discernible purpose. The competition doesn’t hinge at all on the quality of the food. Each guest basically takes a bite of each dish and is like “this is great, thanks!” Dishmantled is incredible.
Getting a new episode of Dishmantled in your inbox is the equivalent of a friend texting you a video of their dog rolling off the couch. You pop it open, watch it, be all like “ha!”, and then go on with your day. Is that a substantial business model for a streaming service? Almost definitely not! But for as long as it exists, I am willing to watch people get shotgun blasted in the face with ground beef and pita chips. Welcome to 2020.