The dead speak! A bunch of dead characters from The Sopranos is what I’m referring to, obviously. Over at the Talking Sopranos podcast, former castmembers and co-hosts Michael Imperioli and Steve Schirripa revealed brand new bits of dialogue written by series creator David Chase, setting Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini), his family, and his various consiglieres in COVID quarantine. “It’s the first time [Chase has] written them since 2007,” Schirripa said on the podcast, “and he was nice enough to let us read that.”
We’re just gonna’ have to assume this entire thing takes place in an alternate Sopranos timeline, seeing as how a handful of these characters bit the bullet before the finale. That’s maybe including Tony himself, depending on where you fall on the series’ controversial cut-to-black ending. (The best TV ending of all time, but that’s a conversation for another day.)
PAULIE WALNUTS: Man, people call me a germaphobe. Big laugh. Now all I’ve got to say is: See, motherfuckers? And I knew some fuckin’ thing like this was going to happen. I saw the Holy Mother at Bada Bing.
TONY SOPRANO: Sports betting? Fucking gone with the wind, along with professional sports. Me and my friends are dying over here. The president might have a point. Let’s get business and manufacturing going again — by Easter, May Day, whatever the fuck.
MEADOW SOPRANO: I should’ve gone to medical school. I feel so bad about my decision.
CARMELA SOPRANO: I’m so glad my daughter didn’t go to medical school. Imagine where’d she be right now.
CHRISTOPHER MOLTISANTI: I’ve been to Hollywood. Out there they should call it the swine flu.