‘Watchmen’ Guide, Week 4: Questions We Have After “If You Don’t Like My Story, Write Your Own”

     November 10, 2019

Much like poor, stranded Adrian Veidt on his little wooden boat, I too pull theories out of the murky depths only to toss them back like discarded clone babies when they turn out to be mostly, if not completely wrong. Four episodes down and Watchmen remains an impenetrable mystery box filled with deity dildos and mysterious lubed-up vigilantes where it’s kind’ve impossible to tell what’s a red herring and what’s true. Or, you know, what’s Trieu.

“If You Don’t Like My Story, Write Your Own”—named after a line from Chinua Achebe‘s novel Things Fall Apart which has since become shorthand for “I refuse to admit I made a shitty movie”—introduced a lot of questions, but it also introduced a major new face in Hong Chau‘s Lady Trieu. A trillionaire visionary and leader in advanced pharmaceutical technology with the power to just up and make a dang baby from scratch, Trieu is responsible for the Millennium Clock, a towering time-teller jutting its way out of the Oklahoma landscape that looks like London’s Big Ben had sex with one of those alien tripods from War of the Worlds. Folks, it’s an eyesore, and it’s also probably at the center of a nefarious plot to do something…nefarious, considering all the spooky talk coming from a suddenly-very-mobile Will Reeves.

You probably have a few questions about all of that. I most certainly have more than a few questions about all that. So, without further adieu…