[Editor's note: The following contains spoilers through the Season 2 finale of What We Do In the Shadows, "Nouveau Théâtre des Vampires."]
Before it premiered, the idea of a TV show based on the cult hit What We Do in the Shadows might have seemed pretty far-fetched. After all, how could you hope to replicate the original film's joke-a-minute pace, the unique characters, and the fantastic performances without the original cast? Turns out, by simply taking the same concept and expanding it tenfold, while giving us new characters to rival the originals, if not surpass them.
Chief among these is Guillermo (Harvey Guillén), a man desperate to finally become a vampire after working for over 10 years as a familiar to Nandor the Relentless (Kayvan Novak). Guillermo has also spent most of this season having a bit of an identity crisis, after he discovered he may be a descendant of a long line of vampire hunters.
With Season 2 now wrapped up and Season 3 officially announced, let's take a look at what happened when the Staten Island vampires get invited to a fancy stage play after Guillermo quit his job in the Season 2 finale.
The Vampires Are Not Alright
Despite having finally negotiated some much needed free time during work hours, we start the episode with Guillermo being nowhere in sight. We know this because Nandor keeps calling for his familiar to help him get out of his coffin and down the stairs. Nandor is frustrated with what he considers to be a violation of trust, but oblivious of how he went from a ruthless conqueror to a helpless man who considers getting out of bed alone as a great accomplishment. Nandor then finds a note in Guillermo's room with a single word written on it: SORRY.
We pick up a week later and the house is a mess without their trusty familiar around. Though Nadja (Natasia Demetriou) says she predicted they would be fine without Guillermo, there is a fire in the hallway, and dead bodies all over the living room and the stairs. Things are certainly not good, but Nadja is firm in her belief that human familiars are unreliable because "even if they don't quit, how long will a human familiar live, 100, 200 years?" This would make Haunted Doll Nadja the ideal familiar — if only she could clean, or move around.
Nadja also gives us an always welcomed direct acknowledgement of the documentary crew, as the vampire asks a camera man if he is 90 years old (he's 26). And later in the episode, a doorman at the vampire theater hands out media passes to the crew and tells them, very menacingly, to keep them on themselves at all times.
Guillermo Who?
Beyond the dead bodies lying everywhere, or Colin Robinson (Mark Proksch) falling and covering his clothes in a corpse's blood, it seems like the biggest inconvenience for our favorite group of dysfunctional vampires is not having Guillermo doing their laundry. What are centuries-old vampires to do? Wash their own garments in the river? Of course not. Instead, Laszlo (Matt Berry) decided to wear sweatpants while Nandor is sporting Michael Jordan’s Dream Team jersey from the 1992 Olympics, which is a nice callback to Season 1 and his main motivation for applying for American citizenship.
When the vampires suggest looking up Guillermo's phone number to send him pictures of the vampires having fun without him, they realize they don't know anything about the poor guy. "What else do we know about him besides his first name?" asks Nadja, but before they manage to give a horrible answer, they're interrupted by a delivery man carrying a package. Inside is an invitation to the titular Nouveau Théâtre des Vampires, a theater group that travels from Europe to the US every five years for an event that only the very best of vampire society can attend. Of course, this is the very first time the Staten Island vampires are invited, and not only are they not suspicious of it, they are very excited about finally going and experiencing the show, which Laszlo says offers every kind of nudity imaginable.
The vampires now have the invitation, but they lack the proper attire. So it falls on Colin Robinson to begrudgingly offer to take their clothes off to be cleaned, as long as he can move into another room in the house. This being Colin Robinson, he overplays the danger of going to do laundry so that the others don't rely on him all the time.
The Vampire Slayer Begins
We finally catch up with Guillermo, who is living at home with his mom. In a very cool touch, the dialogue between him and his mom is not translated, showing Guillermo's bilingual upbringing. Turns out, he took a break from his job as a familiar not because he was being exploited, but because he struggled to reconcile his desire to become a vampire with having killed many, many vampires.
When his mom's fridge breaks down, Guillermo returns to Staten Island to retrieve the mini fridge in his room, but finds a huge mess in its stead. He meets Haunted Doll Nadja (this season's best addition to the cast) who tells him of the theater. Of course, Guillermo is the only one smart enough to notice the meticulous artistry behind the invitation itself, and also that it contained the symbol for the Vampiric Council which had sentenced the gang to death last season. Recognizing that his friends are in danger, Guillermo runs into the night, as Haunted Doll Nadja admits she doesn't believe he will succeed.
It's A Trap, And A Clip Show
So we arrive at the Nouveau Théâtre des Vampires, full of vampires looking straight out of Bram Stoker's Dracula. Now we don't really get a cameo party like we did in the first season, but we do get the return of Jemaine Clement's Vlad, who serves as the master of ceremonies and also the judge, jury and executioner for our vampire gang.
Unsurprisingly, the whole night's event was a trap to execute the Staten Island vampires for crimes against vampirekind: the killing of other vampires. We then get one of the best uses of the clip show since Avatar: The Last Airbender, as Vlad shows us recreation of every single vampire killing we've seen on the show thus far, only with Nandor, Laszlo, Nadja and Colin doing the actual killing. Nadja is quick to dismiss these claims as false, but Colin Robinson recognizes that the other vampires do go on a lot of side adventures without him. Meanwhile, a hidden Guillermo observes the show and thinks back to how it actually went down, and we see the actual clips from the show, showing Guillermo effortlessly slaying vampire after vampire.
After the clip show is over, we see a giant guillotine being prepared for their execution. But before that, Vlad plays an in memoriam video for the vampires they lost over the year, all while offering the same kind of unnecessary commentary you see on Twitter on Oscar night like "no one will miss him," and "he died because he got confused by daylight savings." With their fates sealed, Nandor, ever loyal to his familiar, quickly blames Guillermo for all the deaths. At least he does lie and say he already killed the familiar with his bare hands, but only because of the killings, and definitely not because he dared abandon his job and his master.
The Vampire Slayer Rises
After effortlessly climbing up to the top of the theater building in full vampire-slaying gear, and after listening to everyone mock him and not remembering his full name, Guillermo jumps down to the stage and goes full Blade on the crowd.
The former familiar starts stabbing and disintegrating vampires left and right like there's no tomorrow, further embracing his Van Helsing roots while still doing so to protect his friends. He is stabbing, kicking, punching vampires in the head with crucifixes, grabbing a vampire and pouring holy water down their throats.
When the dust (or ashes?) settles, Guillermo is the only person left standing, covered in the blood of dozens of vampires. Nandor asks if there is something Guillermo has been hiding that he needs to get off his chest, and he replies that his full name is Guillermo de la Cruz (which is fitting since he does fight with a lot of crucifixes). But of course, Nandor doesn't care about that. He is still angry about having been forced to do his own laundry.
And that's season 2 of What We Do In the Shadows! Honestly, this season somehow managed to improve over the already excellent first season. And following Guillermo's journey is such a treat. One can only hope that next season, they somehow find a way to make him a Blade-like vampire hunter who is still a vampire.
What We Do In the Shadows Season 2 is streaming now via FX on Hulu.