American readers: did you not have enough money to make it to this year Cannes Film Festival?  Did you find that you lived in the real world and that in this economy, making it all the way over there to see great films would send you into even deeper debt (Hey, I thought General Motors was a good investment too)?  Well take the gun out of your mouth and listen!  Two films from the festival are now coming our way!

First, we have Michael Haneke's Palme d'Or winner "The White Ribbon".  You may want to get some therapy before you see it because, knowing Haneke, it will probably depress the ever-loving fuck out of you, but you definitely have enough time to get your mind right because the film is now slated to hit stateside in late December (although if you can get yourself to the Toronto Film Festival or the New York Film Festival in the fall, chances are it will make an apperance).

For those unfamiliar with the story, the synopsis reads thusly: A village in Protestant northern Germany, 1913-1914. On the eve of World War I. The story of the children and teenagers of a choir run by the village schoolteacher, and their families: the baron, the steward, the pastor, the doctor, the midwife, the tenant farmers. Strange accidents occur and gradually take on the character of a punishment ritual. Who is behind it all?

Haneke.  Haneke is behind it all.  You're in his film.  You should have known better.

Find out when we get "Thirst" after the jump.

Then there's Park Chan-Wook's Jury Prize winner "Thirst".  Focus is releasing the film on July 31st and since it's Park Chan-Wook ("Oldboy", "Sympathy for Lady Vengeance"), it's worth seeing (although, I must admit I haven't gotten around to seeing his last film, "I'm a Cyborg, But That's OK").  But just in case you need an extra incentive, here's the plot synopsis:

Beloved and devoted priest from a small town volunteers for a medical experiment which fails and turns him into a vampire. Physical and psychological changes lead to his affair with a wife of his childhood friend who is repressed and tired of her mundane life. The one-time priest falls deeper in despair and depravity. As things turns for worse, he struggles to maintain whats left of his humanity.